The Pensive Pence

Developing and Maintaining a Personal Testimony

2011-07-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

I stand before you today because Jesus Christ lives and is our savior. I know this. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God and translated the Book of Mormon from gold plates kept safe in the ground for many years. I know that Book of Mormon is true. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church on the earth that contains the fullness of the gospel and is lead by a modern day prophet, Thomas S. Monson.

How do I know these things? I have been asked today to focus on how I developed my own testimony, how I have strengthened it over the years and my advice to others regarding a personal testimony.

Study. Prayer. Practice.

When I was first taught the gospel, I already believed that there was a supreme deity who had created this magnificent universe. I would study the stars and wonder, “Who is this creator?” And, “Who created this creator?” I had a deep longing to know if this deity was real. My church friends taught me that I could know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God was real and I was his daughter. He loved me. He wanted the best for me. And most of all, he wanted me to know HIM in his heavens.

For me, a worldly 17 year old with no religious upbringing, this concept came with great promise and also surprise. God knew me as an individual and loved me as his daughter? He wanted me to know him so that I could one day return to him in the eternities and be like him? I realized that I could understand him and eventually, the universe. I knew this was my great chance, but also a great responsibility. For, having been told that I could know God, how could I turn my back? I had to move forward.

I began to study the Book of Mormon and the Bible. I talked to members of the church. I wanted to know. Satan wanted me not to know. He wanted me to keep floating in the nebulous philosophies of the world. Family members and longtime school friends discouraged my new scholarship, feeling that I would change and they would lose me. I became confused for a while, but then with increased determination, told them that all I was learning would make me better, and not a stranger to them. Satan continued his onslaught of confusion and fear.

Finally I could stand the uncertainty no more. I prayed. “Can I know the Book of Mormon is true? Is this church what it claims, the church of the fullness of the gospel?” I prayed to do the right thing. And, I had enough brand new faith to expect an answer. The answer came the next day when the missionaries came to my door. I did not know my friends had told them I was investigating. I took this as a sign that I should listen to what they had to say. I did. And it was the best news I ever heard.

They told me that God was very much in his heavens and his son, Jesus Christ, was the savior of the world. They told me that the fullness of the Gospel had been restored in the latter days and that God had called prophets to lead his people again. Joseph Smith was the first of those prophets, and through him the Book of Mormon was translated and the true church restored to the earth. They told me that the current prophet was Spencer W. Kimball and he spoke with power and authority from God. And, in my heart I knew what they were teaching was true.

Marion G. Romney said: “A testimony‍ is the sure knowledge or assurance from the Holy Ghost of the truth and divinity of the Lord’s work in these latter days. A testimony‍ is the “abiding, living, [and] moving conviction‍ of the truths revealed in the gospel of Jesus Christ” ( “How to Gain a Testimony,” New Era,‍ May 1976, 8; emphasis added).

The Gospel of Jesus Christ made perfect sense to me, and over the next two months, I studied, prayed and began to attend church. I faced some obstacles, but how could I go back then to confusion and wonder when the answers were before me. The Gospel was delicious.

In Alma’s great discourse on the word of God in the Book of Mormon he says: “Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.”

I was baptized with my father’s permission. Seventeen, newly graduated from high school, on my way to college, with the sweet gospel guiding my dreams, a new life was before me. Over the next several years I studied the gospel in a variety of ways to strengthen my testimony. I attended meetings and activities. I taught primary, Relief Society and Sunday school, I studied the scriptures through institute class, study guides and personal discussion. While this sounds easy and exciting, it was actually difficult, because at that time I did not know that I had dyslexia and ADHD.

Study

I tried many times reading the scriptures from chapter to chapter as most people do. I found it difficult to concentrate for very long. As I progressed in college, where my learning differences also affected me, I finally discovered the best way for me to learn and internally organize information. I needed to learn by principle, or subject. I purchased a book called “Teaching with the Book of Mormon,” with which I studied the scriptures by subjects, such as fasting, word of wisdom, revelation, etc. I then began to mark my scriptures so that I could track my progress. When I finished the book I began to use the topical guide to find new scriptures for various teachings of the gospel. With the marked scriptures, I could then read the passages in context and get much more out of my study time.

Another great tool I have discovered is reading aloud and listening to scriptures. I am an auditory learner. When I read the scriptures to my daughter I would often pause to explain verses to her. This helped me to understand them myself. (And, it is true what is often said, you really start learning when you start teaching.) We also listened to the scriptures which are available on CDs and the LDS.org website. I have downloaded them to my computer and put them on my MP3 player. I am now on my 3^rd time through the Book of Mormon since January.

General Conference attendance for me is a superlative testimony builder. Hearing the words of our prophet and his counselors, and other leaders of the church give me a spiritual boost I can get nowhere else. I can then go to the church website, download the talks/and or listen to them whenever I want. I purchase the conference CD’s for my gospel library. I receive the Ensign magazine where I can read the talks and other great articles throughout the year.

lds.org is a great source of information about the church and our beliefs. You can download talks, scriptures, music, lessons and much more. Other websites, such as mormon.org provide information, personal profiles, testimonies and even online chat. I can find anything if I look in the right place.

Prayer

Of course, accompanying study of the gospel is constant prayer. I always invite the Holy Spirit to be with my before I read or listen to any scriptures or lessons. I have also fasted when I needed that extra communion with the spirit. When I am researching a gospel principle, I pray for understanding. Sometimes talks or lessons at church also inspire me to research. In each instance, prayer accompanies my study. And I do not stop until I have a greater testimony concerning that gospel principle.

Practice

Another important part of my gaining a testimony has been to bear my testimony. Telling others of the sacred mission and atonement of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation keeps my testimony alive and edifies others. I know that I am greatly uplifted by hearing the testimonies of others, from the smallest primary child to the president of the church. All these testify of Christ. All these testimonies are a part of my own.

Your examples strengthen my testimony. Primary children singing reverently in primary, young men and women dressing and speaking modestly, priesthood brethren blessing and passing the sacrament, visiting teachers serving their sisters, members cleaning up after themselves, youth respecting church property and grounds, Boy Scouts tending the flag, members fulfilling their callings, friends loving friends. All these examples have a profound influence on my testimony of the Gospel.

Testimony is an action word. My testimony is why I get up every day and go to work, care for my family, study the gospel and serve others. It is why I love, laugh, sing and garden. While it is strong it carries me; when it is not so strong, I nurture it back to health. My testimony is who I am and who I strive to be: a righteous daughter of God.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has declared:

‘Our motives and thoughts ultimately influence our actions. The testimony‍ of the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ‍ is the most powerful motivating force in our lives. Jesus repeatedly emphasized the power of good thoughts and proper motives: “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36).

The testimony‍ of Jesus Christ and the restored gospel will help us in our lives to learn of God’s specific plan for us and then to act accordingly. It gives us assurance of the reality, truth, and goodness of God, of the teachings and Atonement of Jesus Christ, and of the divine calling of latter-day prophets. Our testimony‍ motivates us to live righteously, and righteous living will cause our testimony‍ to grow stronger.’

We gain a testimony of prayer by praying. We gain a testimony of fasting by fasting. We gain a testimony of General Conference by attending. We gain testimony of tithing by paying it. We gain a testimony of the Word of Wisdom by abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea and drug abuse. We gain a testimony of the law of chastity by keeping our thoughts, bodies and actions pure from the temptations of Satan. We gain a testimony of home and visiting teaching by doing it. We gain a testimony of the organization of the church when we actively participate in our ward and fulfill our callings. We gain a testimony of the priesthood by participating in its ordinances. We gain a testimony of gratitude by being served. We gain a testimony of service by serving. We gain a testimony of Jesus Christ by repenting of our sins and accepting His atoning sacrifice in our personal lives.

How would I advise you to strengthen your testimony or gain one for the very first time? I would first tell you why a testimony is so important. President Uchtdorf also said:

‘A testimony provides proper perspective, motivation, and a solid foundation on which to build a life of purpose and personal growth. It is a constant source of confidence, a true and faithful companion during good times and bad. A testimony provides us with a reason for hope and gladness. It helps us cultivate a spirit of optimism and happiness and enables us to rejoice in the beauties of nature. A testimony motivates us to choose the right at all times and in all circumstances. It motivates us to draw nearer to God, allowing Him to draw nearer to us (see James 4:8).

Our personal testimony is a protective shield, and like an iron rod it is guiding us safely through darkness and confusion.’

I can testify that this is true. There have been times in my life so dark that I did not know where I would sleep or where my next meal would come from, but through it all I knew one thing: The Gospel of Jesus Christ was true and I was a member of the restored church. I knew I was loved.

And then I would say 3 words: Study. Prayer. Practice.

The third thing I would say is to do as Amulek says in chapter 34 of the book of Alma,

‘Yea, even that ye would have so much faith as even to ^aplant the word in your hearts, that ye may try the experiment of its goodness.’

If you allow the spirit into your heart, you will feel that burning of testimony within you. If you nurture that through study and prayer, it will grow.

The fourth thing I would say is to keep the commandments. The Spirit will not testify to you if you do not keep yourself humble and worthy to receive it. Not following the commandments will show a lack of faith, which faith you desperately need to gain that sweet, pure testimony of Christ. We keep the commandments because we love the Lord, and He loves us enough to teach us the way in which we will be happiest. If you have trouble with a commandment, search the scriptures to know why it is important to keep it. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you to keep it. Pray about it. Talk to your parents or your bishop if you have need of counsel or a blessing.

The fifth thing I would say is pray. Pray constantly for the Holy Ghost to be with you. The Spirit will testify the truth to you anywhere you are, as long as you are searching and are willing to accept it. Pray always. Answers will come, perhaps not as you would expect them, but if you accept the witness of the Holy Ghost, you will know when it is speaking to you.

The sixth thing I would say is live your testimony. Bear your testimony. You are a Latter-day Saint. You love the gospel and our Lord, Jesus Christ. These things direct your life and your goals. Let others see the light in your heart.

Study. Prayer. Practice.

I know Jesus Christ lives and stands at the head of this church. I know this because the Holy Ghost has witnessed this to me deep in my heart. I know that we are lead today by a prophet, Thomas S. Monson, because I have accepted the witness of the Holy Ghost testifying this. This is the true and living gospel of Jesus Christ, and I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Sources:

Elder Deiter F. Uchtdorf Liahona, Nov. 2006 The Power of a Personal Testimony

The Book of Mormon

My Loving Bother

2010-09-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

The heavy burden of grief hangs on my forehead, presses between my eyes and makes my vision blurry. My sister’s husband of almost 43 years is suffering from cancer. 43 years in three weeks, if he makes it.

Complications from chemo have been ravaging his body for at least the last 8 months, maybe more. First his entire digestive system ulcerated, his bowel rotting within, leaking into his body cavity. Doctors removed it in a colostomy surgery, giving him relief so that he was able to eat. Not eating for several months left him severely malnourished. Many weeks of healing, nutrition and physical therapy allowed him to return home.

Somehow he was not told he had diverticulitis, so ate the wrong foods and ended up in the hospital with an infection which they think spread to his lung, giving him pneumonia. I saw him then, when I went back to New York in July. He was not 'My Loving Bother’ that I remembered even from the February visit I made. Bald, white beard on half of his face and much, much thinner, he struggled to force loose the lung infection. Psoriasis covered much of his body, but was actually healing because of the massive antibiotics and chemo. He was anxious to go home.

He became gravely ill again three weeks later and almost died from septic shock. Two days back at home and he regressed to the point of now being on positive air pressure. I’m saddened that this once hale outdoorsman is being eaten up by his own body. I’m saddened that he is in pain and peril, scared for his life and his wife’s life without him. I’m saddened most of all for my sister who adores him, cares for him and does her best in what is most likely a losing battle. And while I have my own views of death, the life after and eternity, my sister does not need a sermon. She needs comforting arms around her and loving voices telling her that they will take care of her needs, her bills, her food, her horse. She doesn’t have many arms. Our family is cantankerous and divided. And I am 3,000 miles away on the opposite side of the country, calling her frequently and sending her money. But I wish I could do more.

I am ready to leave on a moment’s notice. She asked me if I wanted her to call when ‘it’ happened. I told her I’d like to be there for her when it does happen, if she has any warning. I can be there in 24 hours. Her son and daughter are there, though, and that brings me great comfort. They have both come from long distances to be with their family.

So I send flowers and balloons. I send money. I send love. I send prayers. I am going to the temple now to worship and pray for my ‘Big Gerry,” “My Loving Bother.” It’s fast Sunday; my prayers have never had greater need or urgency. I have enlisted the temple patrons by putting him on the prayer roll. I have enlisted my 300 some facebook friends for their prayers. I have enlisted my own sheer faith that he can be healed, that miracles do happen and they can happen to him. After all, they have happened to me.

Cedars and Snow

2010-04-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

Verdant branches, laden low

Drooping downward, sculpted snow

Layers laughing, hide and seek

Winter’s blanket, frigid, sleek

Penny L Kjelgaard copyright 2010

Winter Wilds

2010-04-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Winter wilds, empty wood

Sites where only few have stood.

Trees are sleeping, smooth and deep,

Majestic, soundless vigils keep.

Racing rapids, rivers flow

Onward, downward through the snow.

Tumbling bubbles, waters sing

“Remember, O remember spring!”

Penny L Kjelgaard © Jan 2010

Pond

2010-04-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

Daybreak soggy

Lowland foggy

Water glowing

Cattails flowing

Verdant beaches

Muddy reaches

Dragons dancing

Ganders prancing

Peepers peeping

Willows weeping

Locusts singing

Solace bringing

A Walk With Bob Hope

2010-03-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

I strolled around the empty theatre with Bob Hope.

He smiled kindly and crooned, “Hi, Honey.”

I approached him and we began to walk,

comfortably,

behind the back row toward the wall.

“I saw you and Cagney tap dancing on a table last night.”

“I remember. He tried to out-dance me.”

“He did.” I smiled.

He rolled his eyes. “You’re funny.”

“You look healthy.”

“I’m feeling good, he said.

He reached the end of the row and descended toward the stage.

“Except this brain tumor.”

He tapped his crown. “They’re going to take it out.”

“I had a friend who had brain surgery,” I remarked.

We turned the corner in front of the first row and ambled back across the theatre.

“In fact, this is her daughter, Emily.” I gestured to the brunette teen sitting in the center aisle.

We reached her and he squatted to her level.

“Emily, this is Mr. Bob Hope.”

“Hi, Honey,” he crooned.

“Bob, this is Emily. Her mother had surgery because her brain was bleeding.”

“Are you her friend?” she asked Bob, pointing to me.

“You bet,” he replied, a dazzling smile.

“His only one,” I added.

“You’re funny,” he said.

Clover Scented Spring

2010-03-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

If I stretch forth arms to spirit’s bliss

and sing the sudden places of the wild,

I would start and end on this one thing:

that clover scented spring

be joyous song of endless days so breathed.

First Novel

2009-09-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

I wrote a novel, years ago
Then put it safe away,
To take a little break from it,
Then edit it, someday.

But life got going here and there
And there and here again.
And so it sat, upon my shelf
An old, forgotten friend.

I question reading words I wrote
Some fourteen years ago.
Should I revise it as I planned,
Or shred and let it go?

Copyright 2009 Penny L Kjelgaard

Summer Sorrow

2009-08-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

I had that dream again last night, the one where autumn leaves are driven to the ground by a furious, forceful wind. And in it I watch, helpless and mourning, the summer die before my heart is ready to bid it farewell. Sometimes I have this dream in the springtime, and I wake with such sorrow I feel an oppressive load on my chest the day long. This time it is August, past mid-summer when the sun’s angle is waning toward the south again, back to where it dwelt in May, my great month of anticipation. And again, I feel the dreaded panic in my heart: summer is leaving me again.

I once raced headlong into autumn with full anticipation of school friends, holidays and color-bursting foliage. The clear October skies and sweet scents of decaying leaves held the greatest gift this earth could ever bestow upon me. But that is in the past. I still love autumn, but find it increasingly difficult to get over the last weeks of summer hump. I’d prefer to slide back down that hill and climb July all over.

I was not a fan of hot weather in my childhood. Indeed, until I left Upstate New York, I had no clue that summers could be anything but oppressive and downright unbearable. The rushing autumns of the northeast invigorated me, reviving me from the intense survival mode of the muggy summers. Puget Sound summers in Washington State, however, made me fall in love with torrid, baking days and chilly, refreshing nights. The difference is humidity. There is a rainy season and a dry season here. It rains in winter, all winter. Snow storms are infrequent and usually short and light. In summer, the opposite: hot dry weather with infrequent rain from June through September. The first summer I was here the sun shone every day for 60 uninterrupted days. It is this perfect summer I passionately cling to until the first chilly sniff of autumn air. It is this summer I dream about losing, sometimes before it starts.

I have never understood the sorrow, though I am familiar with its burden I carry in my heart. I sob in this recurring dream, knowing that summer is over before I can rejoice in it. In the dream, I have gone to sleep in the spring and awakened in the full throes of autumn, distraught, cheated and betrayed. When I wake in real life, I struggle the entire day to shake off the emotions; they are so deep. Last night I saw a steady shower of golden leaves dropping against a clear blue sky, the sun lighting their path to the ground. When I woke, I had to address the fact that summer is again waning and will be here only a few more precious weeks. Why is this my greatest fear?

Does summer represent the carefree days of childhood? But, childhood seems so long ago, and I was not a sun worshiper. Perhaps these are my carefree days of middle age: reading in the front yard, peeking at the birdfeeders, watching the hot air balloons at dusk. My mind argues with my heart, “The year has it order, a cycle of birth and sleep.” But in these middle years, I would vote for summer to follow summer, again and again and again.

Does summer represent Heaven, the great reward for a life well lived, the tranquility I long for? Some days, I admit, sitting in my yard, breathing the summer air and the music of wind tickled leaves, I think that Heaven must like this- but better than the best summer day. When autumn comes, it all dies and I reflect “will I feel this content again after I die?”

“Just move some place where it’s summer all the time,” I tell myself, impatient with emotion and wallowing. It could be that easy, I suppose. But where? The desert where life is desperate for water? Or make a compromise and stay temperate, but move to the high desert, where at least the sun shines more in the winter. Is it the cold or the clouds?

It has to be something deeper.

And so, in my desperation, I grieve, then realize that time does not stop, the summer does not linger, and to dwell on this self-indulgent dilemma is destructive. After all, I am a survivor, and so is summer. It comes year after year, fighting for birth some times, gliding on a breeze at others, but true to its return in some form when the sun is high in the sky. It is true that the earth, the seasons, even the hours of the day, contain more ‘in-between’ times than peaks and troughs. Perhaps people do as well. I smile because autumn is long here, as well as spring. Winter is short and gray compared to New York standards, and summer, well, summer is my great friend: a song in my heart.

And I will sing it while I live.

Penny L Kjelgaard copyright August 2009

Mourning Dove

2009-07-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

I was Laughing Rain
spry
chortling
before rain
during rain
after rain

I rambled

a mourning dove
crooned
in Washington
in Colorado
In Utah

soft strains
cool comfort
succor

I am Mourning Dove

not because
I love the rain less

because
I sing to strangers

Penny L Kjelgaard copyright 2009

2009-07-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

23 June 2009

Today my eyes feast upon farmland: the breadbasket of Washington state. The wheat fields of the Columbia Plateau roll to the horizon dressed in summer green, the sprouts knee high in their young life. I've seen mountains, deserts, canyons, oceans, forests, and mighty rivers, but when I see farmland, I forget all the rest.

I assume this is the result of growing up in semi-rural upstate New York, where most of the cleared land is planted or pasture. The cities and hamlets are surrounded by crops, sweet corn mostly, though other vegetables are planted, too. I distinctly remember scrambling behind a tractor snatching up newly dug potatoes at Botcher's Gardens in Big Flats.

My daughter and I watch a few dust devils miles away. Some are young and vibrant, spiraling in tight formation. Others are old and sloppy, dust falling through the air as the funnels fall apart. This is not something we saw much of in New York, as the soil was heavy with humus. Out here, the loess, or glacial silt, is the reason for the dust. It is also reason for the vast fields of grains that grow in its fertile domain. When the tiny grains break down, they release minerals, making a rich, nutritious soil. But, blow the wind does, and it's common to see a tractor at the head of a large flurry of loess, plowing the vast open fields for planting. And of course, all that open space and wind is the reason for the eddies that grab the dust and dance with it.

So I feast for a small time, bracing myself against the wind and the rest of the road trip that I have just begun. In 9 days I'd be back home after 3000 or so miles and 6 states. And I wonder to myself, how much farm land will I see? Will it be as wide open as this or tucked into contours like fields back home? What will grow there? How will the fields be watered? How, indeed, do farmers make the desert bloom?

Only the miles will tell.

Copyright 2009 Penny L Kjelgaard

Temple

2009-04-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

A shining beacon on a hill
A gathering of the worthy
A place to shelter from the world
A residence of Spirit
A Holy House of deity
A work for those passed on
A conduit of earnest prayer
A stillness of reflection
A site where blessings overflow
A temple of Our God

copyright 2009 by Penny L Kjelgaard

Superhero

2009-04-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

When out of pain I strive to be,
When eye balls pop and teeth do throb,
I chance upon a pill to see…
Methinks that it will do the job.
Vicadin, O Vicadin, your brilliant talents do I seek!
My superhero you will be. I beg; defeat this migraine streak.

Copyright 2009 Penny L Kjelgaard

Here We Go Again

2009-02-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

I finally packed my holiday decorations and stowed them in their yearly coffins. Christmas has gone the way of all the melted snow, Valentine's Day has come and gone, and President's day arrives. Then it's onto our blustery month of March, with our advancing into the evening with Daylight Savings time followed St. Patrick's Day and the spring equinox. Through the frigid February ground, the crocuses and daffodils have started poking their green heads here and there. A month from now, they'll be in full bloom and I'll be mowing the lawn again. Yep, spring is on the way.

With it I think of the myriad plans I always have...and the myriad diversions I always manage to discover. Do I really need to pull those weeds? Surely they'll wait a month or two...and they do come out more easily when they're bigger. See, I don't have to bend over so far and irritate my back! In fact, if I wait long enough, I won't have to bend over at all...

This year's foremost plan is to get soil into my retaining wall. I have to call someone to haul it in this week, and hope they don't clean out my savings. The planting area has been void of soil for 3 years. I've had plants in it for two, with little mountains of composted earth surrounding their roots. I lost some viburnum davidii this winter, along with some euonymous fortunei and a dwarf New Zealand flax I never planted. The best laid plans of a sporadic gardener...you know the tune.

Another plan is that square foot garden I've always wanted. I cleared out some Shasta daisies last year, banishing them to the waiting yards of friends, and made room for the two 4' by 4' raised beds I've planned on. I'll be barking in the grass surrounding them, so that will decrease my mowing time by five minutes. But, what's five minutes when it comes to mowing?

That leads to my next project: mowing the back yard. I didn't do it last year. I decided that, since no one used the yard, I'd leave it to itself and spend my time on more fruitful endeavors, like hiking in the Olympic rainforests. Well, it looks terrible. I'll have to buckle down and hack my way through it before it gets too green again. I'm resigned to the fact that 'au natural' just isn't in the cards for this yard. Too bad, really.

But with the approaching seasonal shift I'll enjoy the warmth again, and the smell of the soil. I always feel so alive when I'm one on one with my garden, settling new plants in with a tamp, some water and a "welcome to my garden...grow well." I'll breathe deeply the fresh wind and turn my face skyward to absorb the gentle, vernal sun. Surveying my kingdom proudly, I'll sigh at the end of the day, reacquainting myself with the earth I love so well. And I'll be content.

Daily Scripture Reading Enhances Our Lives

2008-12-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

15 For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.
16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard. (2 Nephi 4: 15-16)

Spencer W. Kimball said:
“I am convinced that each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again.

The Lord is not trifling with us when he gives us these things, for “unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” (Luke 12:48.) Access to these things means responsibility for them. We must study the scriptures according to the Lord’s commandment (see 3 Ne. 23:1–5); and we must let them govern our lives and the lives of our children…”

Why do we read the scriptures? In essence we read them to gain knowledge of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, have vicarious experiences and gain empathy. The knowledge we gain is the mind of God. The commandments He has given us, because he loves us, are there for our eternal benefit and understanding. Can you imagine receiving a letter from your parents, whom you had not seen in very long time, telling you of their undying love and offering words of wisdom, with promises of great blessings? That is what the scriptures are to us.

Ardeth G. Kapp said: “The holy scriptures are like letters from home telling us how we can draw near to our Father in Heaven. He tells us to come as we are. No one will be denied. He loves everyone.” (See 3 Ne. 9:14, 17–18.)

We are commanded to study them, as they are an important part of our spiritual, cultural, and historical heritage. They take us back to the roots of many peoples, depicting lives and times far from our own. They take us from our limited experiences and place us among heroes, villains and consequences in the context of the eternal laws of the gospel. They record profound experiences of the prophets, the beauty of the commandments and the mercy of the forgiveness. They not only stir our souls, but our emotions and individual experience. These scriptural experiences we compare to our own.

Nephi said:
23 And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning. (1 Ne. 19: 23)

As I read the scriptures, the narratives contained therein let me experience decisions and feelings that I would not otherwise have in my life. I feel the power of the priesthood when Elijah confronts the priests of Baal. I feel the forgiveness of Joseph as his brothers come to Egypt, searching for food. I feel the obedience of Mary as she accepts the Angel Gabriel’s announcement that she would bear the Son of God. I feel Nephi’s depression when he sees the final downfall of his people. I feel Moroni’s sorrow as he understands that his people are past feeling. I feel the Apostle Paul’s clean spirit as he experiences forgiveness of his sins. I feel the desperation of Joseph Smith as he huddles in the Liberty Jail. I experience the desire to comfort the Savior as he atones in the Garden of Gethsemane.

When a Pharisee asked Jesus,
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Empathy is the beginning of compassion, which, with the pure love of Christ, is the root of charity.

In a revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet to his brother Hyrum Smith, at Harmony, Pennsylvania, the Lord said,
D&C 11:22 “…study my word which hath gone forth among the children of men, and also study my word which shall come forth among the children of men…”

How often should we study his holy word? Sister Ardeth G. Kapp says:

“I ask you, will you open your scriptures and read them every day? Why? Because the glorious promises will then be yours. You can have a sure testimony of our Father in Heaven’s love for you. You can know the gospel plan and the blessings that come through obedience and right choices. The verses you mark will become anchors to cling to when the voices of the world try to confuse you or discourage you. They will lift you up in spirit when you’re down, and you can experience the feeling of being close to our Father in Heaven.”

Henry B. Eyring said:

“The Holy Ghost confirms to us the word of God when we read it. That confirmation, repeated often, strengthens our faith. And it is by faith that we overcome obstacles and resist temptation

When I am in situations where I break out of the pattern, it’s hard on me. Once you get used to regular scripture study, you miss it if you don’t have it. It’s like food—you have to have it. I know that I need the scriptures like I need food. I don’t miss a regular meal, and I don’t miss regular scripture study.”

Sister Kapp continues:

"Learning to study the scriptures is like learning to walk. When you first begin reading them, you feel unsure; you’d much rather read something familiar, like a favorite story. But I can tell you from my experience, if you will try reading the scriptures every day, just as you kept trying to walk, these precious records will become as important to you as being able to walk. In fact, I believe more so. Every day will go better for you. Your confidence will grow, and you will find the strength to resist temptation and discouragement. But you have got to begin."

I’d like to close with another quote from President Kimball, this time summarizing a story from the scriptures about the scriptures.

‘… the story of King Josiah in the Old Testament is a most profitable one to “liken … unto [our]selves.” (1 Ne. 19:24.) To me, it is one of the finest stories in all of the scriptures.

Josiah was only eight years old when he began to reign in Judah, and although his immediate progenitors were extremely wicked, the scriptures tell us that “he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left.” (2 Kgs. 22:2.) This is all the more surprising when we learn that by that time (just two generations before the destruction of Jerusalem in 587 b.c.) the written law of Moses had been lost and was virtually unknown, even among the priests of the temple!
But in the eighteenth year of his reign, Josiah directed that the temple be repaired. At that time Hilkiah, the high priest, found the book of the law, which Moses had placed in the ark of the covenant, and delivered it to King Josiah.

When the book of the law was read to Josiah, he “rent his clothes” and wept before the Lord.
“Great is the wrath of the Lord that is kindled against us,” he said, “because our fathers have not hearkened unto the words of this book, to do according unto all that which is written concerning us.” (2 Kgs. 22:13.)

The king then read the book before all the people, and at that time they all made a covenant to obey all the Lord’s commandments “with all their heart and all their soul.” (2 Kgs. 23:3.) Then Josiah proceeded to clean up the kingdom of Judah, removing all the idols, the groves, the high places, and all the abominations that had accumulated during the reign of his fathers, defiling the land and its people. He also held a solemn passover, and “surely there was not holden such a passover from the days of the judges that judged Israel, nor in all the days of the kings of Israel, nor of the kings of Judah.” (2 Kgs. 23:22.) All this that he “might perform the words of the law which were written in the book that Hilkiah the priest found in the house of the Lord.

“And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the Lord with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him.” (2 Kgs. 23:24–25.)

I feel strongly that we must all of us return to the scriptures just as King Josiah did and let them work mightily within us, impelling us to an unwavering determination to serve the Lord. Josiah had the law of Moses only. In our scriptures we have the gospel of Jesus Christ in its fulness; and if a taste is sweet, in fulness there is joy.’

And of course, we read the scriptures to gain a testimony of Jesus Christ, our redeemer. I learned myself that sweet testimony by reading the scriptures while investigating the church. The Holy Ghost witnessed to me that Jesus is the Christ. At that point I had my mother’s King James Bible and a missionary copy of the Book of Mormon. Today I have standard works that come with a dictionary, topical guide, maps and cross references. How blessed we are to have the word of the Lord in our lives. I ask you, as the prophets have asked us, to study the scriptures diligently, because in them we have eternal life. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Works Cited

Dictionary.com, empathy
Henry B. Eyring, “A Discussion on Scripture Study,” Ensign, Jul 2005, 22–26.
Gordon B. Hinckley, “Feasting upon the Scriptures,” Ensign, Dec 1985, 42.
Ardeth G. Kapp, “The Holy Scriptures: Letters from Home,” Ensign, Nov 1985, 93.
Spencer W. Kimball, “How Rare a Possession—the Scriptures!,” Ensign, Sep 1976, 2.
MacKean, Ian, Studying English Literature: http://www.english-literature.org/essays/studying.html.

Twilight and Turkey Soup

2008-12-26T21:29:00.000-08:00

The day after Christmas. I hovered over a roasting pan on top of my stove, picking out bones, skin and other non-edible sundries from the turkey carcass I’d simmered all day. A gift from my neighbor, Heidi, after our holiday dinner last night was now going to become food for the next few days and possibly longer, knowing my penchant for freezing meals. As I combed through the broth, I thought heavily on the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer that I was reading. I had seen the movie and decided to read the books.

My first attendance at the film was a mistake. I went on opening day and landed a seat on the edge of the second row. The screen was blurry and the 50 foot faces did nothing for me. Also, I didn’t hear much of the movie, since the audience contained screaming teenage girls at the rate of about 75%. I had no clue this was such a cult thing; I just the thought the movie looked interesting. The last vampire movie I’d seen was Van Helsing, and I thought this one looked tame enough. Well, the movie was tame, at least, tamer than the audience.

I then took my daughter to see it a couple of times. I loved the mood of the film, the gray drabble of the Olympic Peninsula that I had visited so often. I’d been in love with the terrain since I’d spent four days at the Makah Reservation in November of 1996. I mentioned this to my 17 year old daughter and she responded in her know it all fashion, “You’ve never even been to Forks!” Wrong, my dear, I was in Forks a few years ago and stayed at this great little motel with a huge garden. I got some great Chinese food there, too! I took my dog with me and we drove to La Push and spent all of 30 minutes on the beach. And, last summer I passed through with a friend on our loop around the peninsula. We’d been to the Quinault and Hoh Rainforests and came back on the north loop, through Port Angeles, and took the Kingston Ferry back to the east side of Puget Sound. I was actually in the Olympic Rain Forest on July 4 hiking with a singles group down to Third Beach in La Push. It rained like crazy and was freezing! And yes, I’ve eaten at that great restaurant on the Quileute Reservation.

I remember hearing something about someone filming a movie in Forks, but didn’t much matter, since when people are filming movies the best thing to do is stay out of their way. Of course, I didn’t really care, since I was there to take pictures of hanging moss, hug trees and talk with my friend about nerdy things. Forks is like many other small towns on the peninsula, it just happens to be really close to several really cool places and in between Port Angeles and Aberdeen.

So, I read the books after I saw the movie, wanting to know more about the characters and their decisions. I didn’t know author Stephenie Meyer was a Latter-day Saint like me. (That was fun. It’s always pleasant to see a sister be successful. Go Girl!) I’m a plot driven reader and I burned through them in a couple of weeks around Thanksgiving. Since I’ve been snowed in the last week in Woodinville, I’ve been reading them again, this time slower with more focus on the characters.

When Edward Cullen first tells Bella Swan to stay away from him, I heard loud dings and saw red flags. When I was chasing my ex-husband (whom I affectionately call my X-Man) he told me some similar things…on our very first date! Should I have listened? Maybe. Why didn’t I? Well, probably for the same reason that Bella didn’t listen, she was hopeful, curious, passionate and decisive. What could go wrong? Well, for Bella, it seemed to be one life threatening situation after another, the addiction she felt for Edward and her inability to move forward without him. I, on the other hand, was ready to move forward without my fiancé when he kept changing the marriage date, but because I was so hopeful…well, you guessed it, I stuck with him. Would I make the same decisions Bella made knowing what I know now? No. But Bella would, because that’s who she is. We all make the best decisions we can with the knowledge we have and live with the consequences, me included.

I’m definitely a wolf girl, my favorite character being Jacob Black. I could hang in a garage and live on the beach…no problem. He’s intelligent, funny, determined and comes from a close –knit community and people. He treats Bella with a familial kindness and intimacy that is so uncommon among boy-girl relationships. One of my very best friends through school was male, and though we had no romantic feelings for each other, the comfortable relationship I had with him was always something I hoped for in a marriage. Also, the idea of my boyfriend transforming frequently into a giant wolf that I can pet, well, that idea is very attractive. I adore the way he is completely honest and passionate about Bella, though, I would add, I highly disapprove of the force he uses with her on a few occasions. And he’s like me…not a quitter.

Some mixed vegetables, wild rice and a few spices added to the broth—smell that? But I digress.

I’ve heard in interviews that many people consider Edward Cullen “the perfect man.” Well, he may be pretty, but if you read intently, he’s far from perfect. He’s nervous, uncertain, controlling and very vulnerable emotionally. Remember, he’s stuck at age 17. Consider what you were like when you were 17 and I doubt seriously that you’d feel your soul was complete. He may have aged in vampire years, but he still sees things from a teenager’s perspective, hence the self doubt and the longing he feels for Bella. I remember those doubts, don’t you? Many of us still have them in one form or another, no matter how old we get. But I also remember the longing, the passion bottled inside waiting to explode. (And yes, I still have that, too.)

Reading the books also inspired me to write two short stories from the first person perspective. I’d only done that a few times, several years ago, but I liked the way I could absorb myself into the characters. I’m still working on them, but I’m pleased with the ideas that flowed, one even from a dream. And no, they aren’t even remotely “fan fiction” or anything related to Twilight-that’s Stephenie’s ball game.

And speaking of ball games, that baseball scene was the absolute best in the movie! The music provided by Muse completely pumped me and reminded me of how much I loved baseball when I was 17. I’ve been toying with an idea for a while, and now its driving me nuts. I want to go to the batting range about a mile from my house. I’ve wanted to for years, now I almost can’t stand it. I’m kind of embarrassed to go, though. What will they think when an 47 year old fat girl drops in and says, “How slow can these things pitch? I’m not it great shape, but you already knew that.”

I’ll let you know how it turns out. “Batter up!”

O Come, Emmanuel

2008-12-24T14:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, Come, Oh, Come Emmanuel

Oh, come, oh, come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come, our Wisdom from on high,
Who ordered all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come, oh, come, our Lord of might,
Who to your tribes on Sinai's height
In ancient times gave holy law,
In cloud and majesty and awe.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come O Rod of Jesse's stem,
From ev'ry foe deliver them
That trust your mighty pow'r to save;
Bring them in vict'ry through the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come, O Key of David, come,
And open wide our heav'nly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come, our Dayspring from on high,
And cheer us by your drawing nigh,
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death's dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Oh, come, Desire of nations,
bind In one the hearts of all mankind;
Oh, bid our sad divisions cease,
And be yourself our King of Peace.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel!

Hymn # 31 from Lutheran WorshipAuthor: French Processional
Translated: John Neal, 1818-66 Tune: Veni Emmanuel1st Published in: 1854

Imagine back with me now, to the Medieval Catholic church with cold, stone floors and vacant, vaulted ceilings. Imagine a solemn chant, the earliest form of singing in the church, echoing through the chilled winter air. It is a pleading, longing chant of the Israelites for the coming of their Savior, for deliverance from all captivity and sorrows. It is a longing we all share as God’s children on the earth.

Veni, veni Emmanuel!
Captivum solve Israel!
Qui gemit in exilio,
Privatus Dei Filio,

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

And then the comforting answer to the supplication:

Gaude, gaude,
Emmanuel nascetur pro te, Israel.

Rejoice, rejoice.
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O, Israel.

The origins of the haunting melody are unclear, though they are commonly considered to be 12th Century. However, it may have begun as early as the 8th century. It was sung in the Advent season, the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus. The Hymn began as a series of Antiphons-short statements sung at the beginning of the Psalm or of the Magnificat at Vespers, the evening prayers. Each of the Antiphons greets the Savior with one of the various titles to which He is referred in the Scriptures.

1. Emmanuel
O EMMANUEL, God with us, Our King and Lawgiver, the expected of the nations and their Savior: COME to save us, O Lord our God.

Matt. 1: 23
23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

2. Wisdom
O WISDOM, who came from the mouth of the Most High, reaching from end to end and ordering all things mightily and sweetly: COME, and teach us the way of prudence.

Proverbs 8:14
14 Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength.

3. Lord of Might
O LORD AND RULER of the House of Israel, who appeared to Moses in the flame of the burning bush and gave him the law on Sinai: COME, and redeem us with outstretched arms.
Micah 2
2 But thou, Beth-lehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.

4. Root of Jesse
O ROOT OF JESSE, that stands for an ensign of the people, before whom the kings keep silence and unto whom the Gentiles shall make supplication: COME, to deliver us, and tarry not.
Isa. 11: 10 , 2 Ne. 21: 10
10 And in that day there shall be a root of Jesse, which shall stand for an ensign of the people; to it shall the Gentiles seek: and his rest shall be glorious.

4. Key of David
O KEY OF DAVID, and Sceptre of the House of Israel, who opens and no man shuts, who shuts and no man opens: COME, and bring forth the captive from his prison, he who sits in darkness and in the shadow of death.
Isa. 22: 22
22 And the key of the house of David will I lay upon his shoulder; so he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.

5. Daysrpring, meaning dawn or daybreak
O DAWN OF THE EAST, brightness of light eternal, and Sun of Justice: COME, and enlighten those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.
Luke 1:67-79
When Zacharias could speak again after John the Baptist was born, he prophesied that Christ would
77…give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins,
78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us,
79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.

6. Desire of Nations
O KING OF THE GENTILES and their desired One, the Cornerstone that makes both one: COME, and deliver man, whom you formed out of the dust of the earth.
Hag. 2: 7
7 And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the Lord of hosts.

Rejoice, rejoice.
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O, Israel.

I testify to you that these prophesies were fulfilled, that Jesus Chris was born in Bethlehem to Mary who wrapped him warmly and laid him in a manger. His birth was announced by glorious angels of His Father, the Most High God. He began his earthly ministry as a humble carpenter and taught his followers peace and hope through repentance. We can rejoice, because Emmanuel has come to Israel, redeemed us from temporal and spiritual death, and will return again to usher in the millennial dispensation. Let us continue to sing glad Noels to our Savior and redeemer, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Works Cited
The Bible, King James translation.
The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vespers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Antiphons http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac1299.asp Charlene E. Fairchild 2002 - 2006
http://www.pbc.org/files/messages/3819/0578.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_come,_O_come,_Emmanuel
Title: O Come ImmanuelBy: Ray C. StedmanSeries: Isaiah: A Short Series Scripture: Isaiah 7, 9 Message No: 3 Catalog No: 578 Date: December 22, 1985
http://christianmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/neales_o_come_o_come_emmanuel
Prayer for the Jubilee by Kathy Coffey
http://www.rockies.net/~spirit/sermons/sr-oantiphons.php

© 2008 Penny Lee Soutar Kjelgaard

Oh, what a shovel of snow we heave, when in white Christmas we believe

2008-12-21T14:40:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a small child in Fisherville, New York, snow at Christmas was a necessity to the celebration of the holiday. The song, of course, by Irving Berlin had us believing, but better yet were the pine trees outside my bedroom window. My father would clip the large, colorful light bulbs to their branches in November, before it got too cold (gloves didn't work well for this activity.) When the snow came, it covered the bulbs entirely, thus giving the snow a multicolored effect that looked like snow cones. Staring out those windows while singing Christmas carols was my personal holiday heaven.

Here in the Pacific Northwest, it doesn't snow that often. I find my self loving the mild winters, but at the same time thinking, "If its going to be cold, it might as well snow." I even dreamed about it one night:

Last Night I Dreamed it Snowing

Last night I dreamed it snowing
Icy flakes, gliding, slowing
Laughing children, mothers smiling,
Snowballs soaring, snow forts piling,
Cotton snow drifts flowing
In my dream still growing.

So now, in December 2008, we have been snowed on for over a week. The temperatures are low and even my skylight snow has not melted, giving the house a grayish tinge inside. It keeps drifting down, piling high and mezmerizing me. I just can't stop staring out the window and this milky miracle from God.